I know The Man

When I think back to my life five years ago, I can't believe how different I was. How different I am now. I can't count the number of lessons I've learnt. The mistakes I've made. The people I've met that have affected me, either positively or negatively. The frame of mind I have developed and the perspective I have gained is priceless. And so it must be said, that the corny phrase "everything happens for a reason, even if you can't see it now", holds real truth. And sometimes it takes years to understand why some things occurred in your life - the truth is it makes you different. And only you can chose whether it makes you stronger, or breaks you down.

Every instance in your life holds a lesson or a test. I have definitely faced many tests regarding my patience, my trust, my capability of how much I can handle, and my forced inner reflection. There are times when you are made to look at a part of yourself that you never really liked, or may never have even known was there. And it can be unpleasant and it can lead to questioning yourself, your morals, your goals. When someone important to you points out a part of yourself that you don't like, it can be easier to brush it off and label it as a 'misunderstanding'. But the braver thing to do, is to find some objectivity and really appreciate the challenge for what it is. Self improvement is one thing we can never fully accomplish and it is a great on-going challenge that keeps our sense of purpose alive.

I know the man I am going to marry. And I know I am meant for him because I would jump in front of a car, truck, bus, plane, boat, crocodile - to protect him and to avoid him feeling any pain in any way. I know the feeling in my heart - goes deeper than that. It goes past my body, past my head, past my heart and soul, my love for him spills over into any afterlife I may have. I would give away everything I know just to see a smile on his face. And that is why hurting him unintentionally chips off pieces of who I am because having to go through a lesson at his expense is the one thing I hate the most.

I know the man I am going to marry. He is not in my head, tall, dark and handsome, with a list of criteria that is ticked off neatly. Tanned. Groomed. Neat. Wealthy. I know a man with characteristics that outweigh those superficial things. He is a real human being with a beautiful soul and honest faults and he shows me a love that goes beyond a storybook or a fairytale. He tells me I look pretty just when I feel I'm having a fat day. He holds my hair back when I'm sick, and still kisses my forehead. He feels mad when other people try to hurt me. He even holds back on things he wants to say in fear of hurting me because I come first to him. And that is how I know we are soul mates.

But whatever mistakes I have made and faults I am still working on, he's still around. And that's how I know.